I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
