Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
