I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
