no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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