i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
