Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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