My hand turned me down
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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