You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
