gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
