Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
