I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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