it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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