found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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