everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
