the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
