I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
