they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
