don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
