It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
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We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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