Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize