Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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