Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
