how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
