you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
