I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
