11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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