I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
