I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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