I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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