i can't believe i had my finger in that
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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