dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
