P.S. I can't hear my feet
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
