I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My life is pants optional.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
