barbara walters just said penis...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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