And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
