Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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