If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
