So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
