i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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