Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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