fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
