if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
