tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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