but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
