So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
