I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
