There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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