somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
