i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
