hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
