Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
my sisters under your porch take her home
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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