the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize