6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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