Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
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The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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