I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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