i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
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no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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