would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
