My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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