I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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