my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
