toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks