Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference

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(703): View more from Virginia

I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.

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(571): View more from Virginia

you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.

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(630): View more from Illinois

You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

I don't even want to know

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(716): View more from New York

tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"

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(206): View more from Washington

THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????

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