found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
